joeyjoseph

I've Said It Once...

—This a repost of the first blog post I think I ever made some three years ago.  In a sense it’s from me three years ago.  Notice however that the me of three years ago, is (as best judged by current trends) still a few years off into the future. You decide —

Look. I know some of you will find this hard to believe. Others will find it terribly ironic. While some of you will just shake your heads like you’ve always known. When we come from, there was a paradigm shift in automotive thinking, and the auto-industry went through a massive re-engineering and came to the realization that there was one car in the history of man that had got it right. 

The DeLorean.  Believe it. 

In The Future, all cars are DeLoreans. Much like all restaurants are Taco Bell in your unforgettable 1990s classic Demolition Man (only with cars instead of food). The best engineering minds in the world held a  virtual summit many years back. Designers, engineers, marketers, toiled day and night. Ideas, designs, models, were all thrown about in a frenzy with the aim of finding the perfect car. The car to end all cars.

It was in the last hour of that momentous forum, that a breakthrough occurred. If the designers of today (your tomorrow) could not, with all their collaborative power come to an answer; then perhaps they should start from the beginning, and look to the past for inspiration.

And so what did these designers of The Future do? Quite simply, they decided to simulate the evolution of the automotive world from scratch. They started from the beginning, and worked their way up through the years. The computer calculated every choice available at every point in time.  They analyzed the complex contextual factors of the era within which each vehicle was created. As the program was running, it suddenly came to a halt. It had stopped at the year 1981. 

The rest, as they say, is history. Well not for you.

With that, the DeLorean saw its rebirth. In only a matter of months, all automobiles were returned to their respective factories, scrapped, melted down, and recycled for use as parts for the new DeLoreans. Every manufacturer began assembling DeLoreans. It became much like aspirin in your time. The same chemical compound, just different manufacturers. Clearly then, the DeLorean also became the worlds fastest selling automobile, shattering all previous records combined. Everybody drove one. From CEOs to custodial engineers, the Fry’s worker, to the weekend equestrian enthusiast. The DeLorean fit perfectly in any situation. 

Don’t worry all you soccer moms. There are plenty of DeLorean mini vans in The Future too. See, in The Future the car most of you know as The DeLorean, is one of two models (excluding military models). There’s the classic DeLorean, known in The Future simply as “Car”, followed by the Utility DeLorean (any other kind of configuration of a “car”).

Some of you may ask, “wait, what about air travel” to which many from The Future would just roll their eyes. I’ll try to be a bit nicer. The answer to your question is quite simple. All transports should be DeLoreans.  Therefore it was decided that all planes should be DeLoreans too. A thought not all that original, since it was obvious to us from your history, that your society arrived at the same conclusion much earlier. Our historians found video proof of a doctor in the late 1980s who in fact did develop such a DeLorean. In fact much about your 1980s was spot on, but I’ll save that for another time.